Thursday, August 5, 2010

No Goal, No Win?

I haven't forgotten this. I've just been... saving the world? Curing cancer? Fixing the oil spill? Campaigning for same sex marriage?

Okay, I'll admit it. I've been lazy. LAAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYY.

And anxious. Really anxious. My anxiety has seriously been at an all time high for the past month, and the messed up thing is that there's no reason for it to be that way. When I get into those anxious periods, working out would probably be the best thing, but yet I cannot make myself leave the house to go do it.

I keep thinking about goals. I used to love to set goals and work towards them. For some reason, where weight loss is concerned, I just can't seem to get motivated. Maybe it's because losing weight is not exactly a FUN process? I mean, think about it. You have to put work into it. You can no longer eat your super favorite foods [because seriously? Who ever says "My favorite food is lettuce!"? No one, that's who.] and it usually means you have to cook something. Unless, of course, you want to be stuck eating nasty diet boxed food - like Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem or even frozen crap like Smart Ones and Lean Cuisine. [Not all frozen meals are crap but they aren't awesome.] And it means you can't lay around reading books and playing on the internet. You have to get up and work.

I need to set a goal. I need to KEEP that goal. But it can't be a long term goal. I'm not quite ready for that. It needs to be short so that I can get back into the habit of meeting goals. You get out of the workforce for so many years, you forget things like deadlines, I guess. I currently write for a virtual magazine, and it was kind of a good feeling to meet the deadline this past month. WHY can't I do that with my body? Is my body not worth it? Am I not worth it?

I think that maybe I am.